Let me review this animation as it plays along.
"The bar is their home"... Who are they? I mean if you're talking about the characters that appear on the screen I still don't know who they are.... This text is kind of unnecessary.
The girl comes back home(?) some dude is just looking what's outside through the window. He turns around WHOA! Snake eyes! Disinterested snake eyes but still.
"The threats are defeated"... Next scene: Shows possible threat. (I know character might not know about it but it could be portrayed better)
"People are active again".... What does it even mean?... I guess it's from your comics but It looks so weird to someone who don't even know what's going on... It feels a bit like end scene of season finale of some animated series.... I don't even know these characters... It's not a good concept for single animation... The story looks like it's ending an arc... and I didn't even know what it was about.
Some weird creatures... Another disinterested person... Red jumping mouse...
"We can all feel safe again"... Suuure. Who could argue that when you say it with such face expression?
Was it supposed to be creepy?
Well... there's not much happening and everything that is happening I don't care about... How could I? I don't feel connected to the characters. I don't know what's this about.
Also... if it's from your comics that means you make them. You can share it too.
Why is all of the animation happening on the left side of the screen? And like... in a poster.
Judging by the text at the end this isn't the entire animation you're going to make with this song
BUT! Even if you want to give here for example a scene where someone comes into the shot from the right or something 20 seconds of weird camera shot is way too long... actually I'm not sure if any amount of time would be acceptable.
But hey, your art looks alright and thumbnail made me want to see what this animation is all about.
So yeah: you're pretty fine on the art department but think about how you want to present stuff too. From which angle, how far away etc
You can't be serious... This site isn't made for let's plays... Go on youtube dude...
You wanted it to look old? Well... I think it mostly turned out to sound old-I remember such audio quality in some old flash parodies on youtube. If you've encountered such videos and you wanted to imitate them I can't really judge the artstyle or animation because it wasn't the point of them. They needed to have anything moving/changing positions once in a while to an audio clip.
Since I'm not sure I'm just going to say that you've chosen quite boring audio clip.
Thank you for the response! I know it didn't come across the way I wanted it to, so it's great to hear your feedback on why. :)
I cant grasp like half of the lyrics... or more.
I don't know if this song was made for this animation or you just used it but they could sing clearer.
It's a commission I made for lhugueny, so the animation was made for the song.
Lyrics are in the description if you can't make em out!
Why did the boy cross the road?- I don't know and neither does he. I mean c'mon. He wanted to cross the road just so he can make an awkward 180 degree turn and then spend way too much time to run like 5 meters...
Overall it's not bad. Mood of this animation is nice too... but I guess it would be nice to have some logic behind it too.
:P Thanks! :D
Lip sincing/mouth shapes for every letter could use some work.
Why is that most of the character's actions are silent? Example- Character drops a can on the ground- nothing.
Nonetheless, the animation is not bad.
This animation was created for the Newgrounds Sound Jam, in which animators were challenged to create an animated short using at least 20 of 30 provided sound effects. Additional sound effects were prohibited, making it a tricky prompt, for sure.
TL;DR I didn't want to be disqualified D:
In this animation your character does almost the same things that he does in the first one but I've gotta say as for the first animations the aesthetic side of them is pretty alright.
I'd recommend trying to animate something different though.
Also... add different thumbnails to your animations or some people may think that you're reuploading the same thing before they click on the animation.
Even though everything that you draw is really inconsistent it's not bad. It actually might be your own style (or at least some of it will stay when you polish your skills)
Second half obviously better than the first since in the first character doesn't do much... actually I'm not sure what is he doing.
Good synchronisation of music and action- shows that you don't need to be amazing at drawing to be able to create something interesting in terms of animation.
There is a potential. Some may wonder what will you be able to make in the future if you keep doing animations.
Keep up the good work.
Thank you so much for the feedback! And yeah, I noticed the inconsistency, and I'm trying to improve on it. But thanks anyways for taking the time to give some positive feedback, I appreciate it! :D
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